on a deeper note

on identity

i have a unique relationship to identity: i was adopted in southern New Mexico, near the borderlands, and was raised in Pueblo Territory, more specifically Albuquerque.  i do not have a formal affiliation to one Nation or Tribe, the only link i have to my Indigeneity is through ongoing DNA research that locates my roots of origin between México and north america.  as i continue my journey of research and discovery surrounding my adoption, i am proud to embody and practice the teachings from my homeland, my Walatowa (Pueblo of Jemez) family and the visions passed down to me from the Ancestors i have only greeted in my dreams.

**update**

my research continues this fall as i travel to the borderlands in november to uncover my place of birth and the heritage that courses through my body. i have spent decades wondering, dreaming of and communicating with Ancestors, romanticizing, then de-romanticizing my perceived heritage. where has this placed me on this grand Mama? where have i placed myself? beyond the rites and ceremonies i have been compelled to practice and make up from the guidance of my dreams, i want to learn/know the dear humans who have influenced my journey from a great distance, over time.

as i unearth the unknown, i am also reminded of what i do not know about the parents who raised me, beloved parents who did their best to survive and “succeed” in a colonial-settler world. descending from Mexico and Spain, my parents have their own histories that have the potential to reveal and revitalize stories of truth and resilience.

and then there is dear Nuevo Mexico. a land that is full of complexity, contradictions, healing and love. the sacred place that shaped me and reminds me to remain as deeply grounded as the Mountains and rooted within the soil like the Trees.